How much goodness can you allow yourself to hold?

Notice what arises. No need to force an answer.

I'd love to hear what comes up for you. Share your reflections in the comments.

With love and fire,
Paulina

What I was reminded today of, was a phrase my dear friend used to say a lot - “Let’s enjoy ourselves”. A few years ago this sentence sometimes would make me angry, make me sad, make me want to compete with how much of enjoyment I can actually experience. At that time I was starting my growth and healing journey, so naturally my focus was all about that. It was all about how much I can heal, how much I can release, how much I can change and rewire my mindset. That sentence was a trigger for me, that sometimes I even haven’t acknowledged how much and strong it actually was. Back then I was learning to be honest with myself, to be open for the truth to resurface to the top, so that trigger felt something that was out of reach on purpose. I did not want to look within to uncover what was underneath it.

As I got more comfortable in my healing and growth journey (to be honest this could be a trigger to some because how can you be comfortable by being uncomfortable?), there were occasions that where showing me to invite more play, more joy, more pleasure into my life. This came at the cost, and I have paid the price. In my case it was the need to feel deserved to have rest and enjoy the present time, the ability to reconnect with the joy I used to experience sometimes in my early childhood, the pleasure that could be experience by myself and with my husband.

Pleasure doesn’t only have to be romantic, pleasure can also be platonic. Pleasure doesn’t only have to be with others, pleasure can also be with self.

A life, your life isn’t a self-improvement project. Enjoyment may appear to be less important than progress and I invite you to challenge this belief and come to your own conclusion, not mine, not your spouse’s or a country’s leader. Yours.

Allow enjoyment to exist alongside growth.

With fire and love,
Paulina

We need to go back in time, to 2024 spring, to me navigating my official business creation, my personal healing journey that entailed of doing the work by myself, doing weekly or bi-weekly sessions with a few coaches-healers/mentors and also being inside a grown up women mastermind. I had a lot on my plate, and at the time I have not realised that, yet I have gotten better at recognising myself more ever since.

The very first round, what felt like an initiation - May, a middle of the month, a threshold. So many woman (over 20) has joined the experience without truly knowing what it was, but they trusted themselves and said yes to “Be Seen By”. At the time, my main focus was to create the experience as I go and what turned out to be the logistical changes this offer underwent because of uncertainty, because of scarcity, because of need for proof and validation, because myself I have been going through the transformation I knew “Be Seen By” needed to exist and created by me.

For years I have felt invisible and there’s so many components in this that I won’t be covering in this piece. “Be Seen By” is a living experience and prof of what I have went through, what I am going through. The experience did change, it did evolved because each time I have gathered another cohort things became more clear to me. I knew the moment the title came through to me - “Be Seen By” it was never about being seen by others, though this is an added plus. This experience was always about being seen by yourself and I had a hard time into talking about it, intro translating into the language a women who needs this work to join.

When one of the woman who has joined the experience twice last year during her 1:1 integration session she has told me - She was completely okay with not being seen by the world because what is the most important is to be seen by you firstly. That’s when I felt this does matter to others too, this was my recognition my validation moment.

Each time I have facilitated the new cohort of “Be Seen By” myself I have underwent a deeper transformation and now it’s been a little over a year since the experience has been created for the first time. What I have known for some time now and the preparation I have been doing behind the scenes is letting the “Be Seen By” to stand on it’s own. For me this means changing the format from cohort (which did worked last year) into evergreen format that also includes a live 1:1 integration session with me. It is time for this offer to touch more women, in ways it has always was meant to.

It feels like when a mother needs to say goodbye to her child who she has been birthed, cared for, nurtured and loved for all these years to letting it explore the world on it’s own.

This is the significant moment in my life as a business owner where I let “Be Seen By” be seen by by more women.

The work of creating this experience is done, and it feels like a completion. It feels like I have space to hold more offers inside my spiritual business. It is time to create a new program that is launching next month.

I am super excited for you to experience “Be Seen By” and if you feel called to explore this offer deeper you can learn more about it here https://www.paulinatoktascoaching.com/be-seen-by or send me a DM in TikTok or Instagram.

Keep shining bright.

P.S. Self-expression doesn’t start with an audience, it stars with self-recognition.

With love and fire,
Paulina

For the past two mornings, I have been waking up with feeling angry, and this is something that isn’t a normal thing for me. So instead of getting more angry at myself for waking up angry, I chose to witness it, to be with this emotion and slowly get to the root cause of this to know why behind this emotion.

Today, things have clicked for me in a deeper way. Stay with me, this may click for you to in your own way.

What I haven’t realised I was doing was this - I was wrestling with a past version of myself. The wrestling part can look unconsciously treating their younger selves as the problem that could show up as such questions:

Why was I so afraid?

Why was I so controlling?

Why did I stay there?

Why didn’t I know better?

I am sure, at least one of these questions popped up in your mind at some point in your life and the anger followed quietly or in some cases loudly like an uninvited guest to your party.

Throughout my adult life I have been trying to answer to these questions and if I couldn’t get the answers fast I would be more angry at myself. But know that, this phase can evolve to, and you don’t have to stay there.

What underneath this has been showing me and trying to teach me, was compassion. Today I have realised (I know this is not the first time this realisation came through to me but this time it feels much deeper and profound) all this time I have been on the same team with her. All this time I have been on the same team as my younger selfs. My younger selfs were never the enemy because she was protecting me with the tools she had. This is not spiritual bypassing, this is compassion to self so many of us are not practising.

The circumstance and experience you went through may still hurt today. The grief may still move and be present in your life. But the relationship with yourself has changed because you chose today and everyday after today, to be compassionate with yourself. It will take regular practise for this compassion muscle to become strong, nonetheless choose compassion for yourself first.

I will leave you today with this question and feel free to share your reflections in the comments:

Can you allow love for all the versions of yourself that brought you here?

With love and fire,
Paulina.

Stay with me here.

What my experience entails is the unseen torture that has been showing signs through my actions and behaviours, and the quiet part no one, not even myself, heard in my inner universe. For years, I had a hard time expressing how I felt, sitting with my emotions, processing them, and letting them go. Until I became 25, I didn’t feel like an adult, like a grown woman. Up until then, I felt like a broken and hurt little girl living in an adult’s body, who had the freedom to live her life the way she wanted, but truly, did she?

The way I learned to cope with this was food. What I later realised and acknowledged in my mid-twenties was this: I had developed emotional eating habits.

This, like any other habit that I will share next from my life, had been there with me on the days I thought I was rewarding myself by eating an entire half-kilo Napoleon cake from the supermarket, or when I intentionally wanted to make myself feel worse than I was already feeling and didn’t eat anything for hours as a way of torturing myself. Because I felt lonely. Because I felt unwanted. Because I felt forgotten. And underneath it all, I felt unworthy of being seen, loved, and cared for.

This changed when I started dating my now husband. This changed when I moved to Malta, the island where I could start seeing myself more clearly, the island where I started my healing journey and my spiritual business. That was a breaking point and a breakthrough that began falling like a domino effect.

This pattern of torturing myself, which was visible through food and self-care, changed into learning and practising self-love, through learning how to eat healthier, how to create healthier routines, and falling in love with exercise.

Guess what?

This pattern only took a different shape, one that was difficult for me to see at the time because my focus was on healing my past, my trauma, and my limiting beliefs. That was my core focus for a good five to six years.

Since starting my spiritual business, all of the inner work I had been doing accelerated because my manifestation of having a business came true. As I look back at 2024, at the very beginning and what felt like both dark and bright times, I now see things more clearly. Call it enough time having passed to see the patterns. Call it whatever you want, truly. Back then, this pattern was emerging from the soil and took a clearer shape in 2025.

Throughout the entire building phase of my business, I have been hard on myself in ways that made my life worse, harder, and more painful. I felt like I needed to prove myself, like I needed validation, and I know there’s more to it than that. But some, or maybe all, roads lead back to torturing myself, just at a more master level (I know this is hard, and by making a joke out of it, I can lighten the mood of this piece).

The extensive and brutal level of self-criticism worked. But did it truly work? What price have I paid in the long term? This is the question I invite you to sit with, and you’re welcome to leave a comment and share your experience and findings.

What I am now realising is that many of us, especially women, are so used to self-criticising that we use it as fuel because it works. It creates action. It creates urgency. It creates results. But what we tend to forget is that it only works temporarily. There is a cost. You don’t fully enjoy the process, or if you do, it’s not complete enjoyment. You reach a milestone and immediately move the goalpost because you need to prove more.

To look at what you have created and celebrate the milestone can be very challenging, but I know it is not impossible. Letting go of these beliefs and patterns that have manifested in our lives can be difficult because they became part of our routine, part of our normal, and the fuel that helped us move forward.

At the end of the day, it is all about the relationship you have with yourself. When that relationship changes, the habits can begin to change more naturally. Every time you notice this thought, belief, or pattern, you can make a new choice, or strengthen the choice you have made before: less forcing, more tending, less proving, more building, less correcting, more caring.

Cheers to creating the next chapter of our lives without using self-criticism as fuel.

P.S. Growth doesn’t require self-attack.

With love and fire,
Paulina

The reason this piece feels different is because it is. It cuts through the noise and the defensive systems you unconsciously activate to protect yourself from yourself.

Throughout my life, I have argued with myself a lot, and eventually it made me realise that all of that energy and time could be spent more productively and in ways that actually support me.

If you have been working through your lack mindset, your money mindset, and all the inherited and self-created beliefs you carry, you may have reached a point in your journey where you simply want more. Wanting more is not evil or egotistical. It is a natural desire to enjoy the abundance available to you in life.

Whatever “more” means to you may look completely different from what it means to me. All of it is valid. All of it is possible. All of it is allowed.

So let today be the day you stop arguing with yourself about whether you’re allowed to have it.

It only takes one decision, and perhaps that decision is one you make today.

This is the time where you allow yourself to experience more of what life can offer and provide.

Cheers to more, and to feeling amazing about having and experiencing more.

Stay dreaming and believing, and most importantly, stay open to allowing it all to come to you.

With fire and love,
Paulina

We know by now, the limitations that can be expressed as “I can’t” has an origin. It’s hard to believe that we consciously chose to integrate this limitation in our lives but nonetheless it’s there even if we don’t like it. When we gather the inner strength and courage to go look at the origin story of it sometimes we stay on the latest memory of what we remember to happen that is linked to “I can’t”. Some of us stay there, some of us takes a train to the past. Some of us reach the final destination, the origin of “I can’t” and heals it by neutralising the power it has over your life. The rewiring process has felt completed. Hasn’t it?

What some of you, even myself, might not be even aware of, end up in what I call a spiral of healing - where healing becomes part of your identity (recently I have wrote a piece on that and you’re welcome to read that one as well). Some of us get stuck into believing that we need to heal all the trauma, rewire all the limiting beliefs before we can live. So what happens next is “I can’t” evolved to “Not yet”. Seasoned people in their healing journey get wrapped around “Not yet” so strongly, that they are not even able to see it happening to them in their life.

For some time I was, well actually until today when I have received this breakthrough, I was in that seasoned people in their healing journey group. I believed that I must process more things, before I can live my life fully (there’s another piece before this where I explore more about processing and you’re welcome to read this piece as well).

What if level 3 in this ladder is the one where expression of life lives?

What if we are done hiding in the very sophisticated place “Not yet”?

What if we, collectively, choose to be done hiding part in the game hide and seek?

What if instead we choose to live the life we truly came to live here even if it scares a little bit or even a lot bit?

What I am inviting and encouraging you to do is to give yourself a permission to move to level 3 of living your life fully.

This doesn’t mean that your healing journey was not for nothing or is complete. This means that healing journey is evolving to something you haven’t experienced yet.

Take care of yourself.

With love and fire,
Paulina

Now as we got this out of the way we can continue with something I have found fascinating - processing in your healing journey.

When you begin your healing journey or even if you are working only on the mindset tips and tricks, you may have become aware of the importance of processing your emotions, your breakthroughs that follows your bey, bey, bey from limiting beliefs. You know that sometimes this processing occurs on the body level, where you do in fact get sick (a cold, runny nose, temperature, painful throat etc). These are physical symptoms that are also linked to the work you are doing on your mindset and emotional body.

To be honest I haven’t truly seen this one coming, because I used to proud myself with my ability to go through each processing in the way it needs that always follows my intuition. What I haven’t seen coming came through today (on the day I am writing this piece) where the Tarot spread for my self has been inviting me to ask this question for my self - Am I processing to move forward or am I processing instead of moving forward. There is a clear difference between these two and if some of you are not able to clearly see it, it’s ok, keep reading.

Now when we look at the first question - Am I processing to move forward, it does indicate a movement, it doesn’t lock you in only processing mode. Processing emotions, traumas, experience is incredibly important and sometimes I have learned this lesson over and over again the painful way. All the work that is being done, all the tools and methods that are being used to processing is great and we shouldn’t only stick to those and use those that are trending right now on TikTok or Instagram.

We are done with processing your emotions, traumas, triggers, etc. because it’s trending on social media.

As we take a look at the second question - am I processing instead of moving forward, this is where I have stopped and had to read it again. What does it mean - am I processing instead of moving forward? For a hot minute it did sting, because the Tarot spread invited me to look deeper, than I was looking at it today, it has asked to see a deeper truth behind my actions I have been taking. This was a light shock, a wake up call I needed to stop for a minute and reflect deeper on all of the actions I have been taking to heal myself and evolve beyond my trauma. As the wind touched me body it cooled me down enough to hear the answer.

In times I was actually processing instead of moving forward. And it’s ok, I see this as part of my growing journey and there is no need anymore to entertain uninvited guest - Mr. Guilt and Mrs. Shame anymore.

As I deepen my connection with my truth, each time questions like this that surfaces or resurfaces again in my day to day life, I see it as an opportunity to reflect with honesty (sometime it can take hours, days, weeks, months or decades) to reach the answer that is true to yourself.

And know that my truth and your truth doesn’t need to be 100% a matching pair. It can exist on it’s own without interfering with another person’s true.

What I am leaving you today with is this:

Am I processing to move forward or am I processing instead of moving forward?

I am choosing to practise this daily - processing to move forward. What about you?

You are always welcome to share your truth, in the comment section.

Take care.

With fire and love,
Paulina

Example of Processing to move forward could be:

I meditate, gain clarity, then implement the landing page.

Example of Processing instead of moving forward could be:

I meditate again because implementing the landing page feels uncomfortable.

A few days ago, I received guidance to write about this, write about inner stability. But before I do that here, I think we all need to collectively realise that inner stability is as important as outer stability and sometimes even more important.

What I refer to here as outer stability is having a roof over your head, a place you call home and live in, having consistent income that can come from various sources and places, and having a group of people you genuinely communicate with regularly that has become your squad. This can be your blood-related people and non-blood-related people, and regularly can mean different things to everyone. There are many more parts that create outer stability: access to healthcare, both physical and mental, access to food, especially fresh and organic food, and much more.

Now that we got this out of the way, we can return to the core focus of this piece: the importance of inner stability. Mind you, this may lead you to a place you have never been before and can challenge your worldview to the core.

When I used to think about inner stability, especially when my healing journey began, I somehow linked it with my physical strength, my ability to run fast, lift heavy, or stretch my body. As I sit down to write this piece, this is the reference point I will use to explain the way I see inner stability. I know some of you may not agree with me, and you are welcome to share your point of view in the comments so we can continue this discussion.

I know much more now than I did seven years ago, five years ago, two years ago, or even a day ago. I have chosen the path of change and evolution. Some things I shared before may no longer be my truth today, and some things I shared before have become part of a deeper, more embodied truth.

What is inner stability, truly? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you ever heard anyone talk about this? Have you ever talked about this yourself with anyone, including yourself?

My intention here is to share my truth that is evolving, changing, and deepening. Because of that, I know my own unfolding can resonate with you in some way, shape, or form. We can see ourselves in other people, and there is nothing wrong with that, though if it is harming us in any way, shape, or form, it deserves proper attention and care.

Throughout my life, there were many times when I did not experience stability and did not feel stable. Some of those moments manifested because of my own conscious decisions and choices, and some did not.

What comes forward right now is the choice to move abroad, away from my parents, my siblings, and my friends in my home country. That decision was made at the age of twenty-five.

You know when people tend to say that someone is going through a midlife crisis because they suddenly make drastic choices and decisions? I do not believe you need to be a specific age to experience something similar. My choice was not made because I felt I was going through a crisis. I genuinely wanted to move. Yet once I took that leap of faith with my husband, who at the time was my boyfriend, there were moments that certainly carried that energy.

This journey is not only mine. It is his as well. It is intertwined in so many ways that sometimes it is difficult to see what was mine and what was not.

What I learned after moving to a country I had previously only lived in short-term was frightening. Not knowing whether we would be allowed to build a life in the same country created a level of uncertainty I had never experienced before. What I did then was go deeper into survival mode, a state I had become very familiar with throughout my life.

At that time, I had no interest in hearing anyone talk to me about inner stability. It would have felt like, “Read the room.”

When your world feels like it is crumbling down like the Tower card in the Major Arcana, what you naturally lean into is not focusing on your inner stability. If you saw a fire spreading through your home, would you do everything you could to save it, or would you sit down in meditation and start humming?

People who have experienced trauma tend to return to survival patterns. Even if you have done a lot of healing work, this can still happen. Sometimes it simply means there is another layer asking to be seen.

There are many situations I have experienced in my outer world that tested my inner stability and challenged it deeper and deeper until I felt like I could no longer get up. What I am referring to here is not physical inability. I am speaking about the feeling of defeat.

Especially last month.

I have become familiar with things falling apart in my life. In some strange way, I have trained that muscle well. Each time I felt knocked down by a situation, a person, or an experience, I found the power, strength, and courage to stand up and keep going.

Multiple times I have surprised myself and found myself reflecting on the same question:

How did that really happen?

How did I manage to get up?

How did I continue moving forward?

That question has become bookmarked in my mind. I revisit it often because it helps me build trust with myself. It helps me recognise my skills, my abilities, my resilience, and my courage.

This has become a lifelong journey of seeing myself more deeply, recognising all parts of myself and not only the parts I once judged, loving all parts of myself, witnessing all parts of myself, and integrating those parts into who I am becoming.

Perhaps inner stability is not the absence of challenge.

Perhaps inner stability is knowing that when life knocks you down, you have the capacity to rise again.

And now, as I have shared more about my own journey from different seasons of my life, I invite you to sit with these questions:

What does it mean for you to have inner stability?

What does it mean for you to have outer stability?

With love and fire,
Paulina

By now, most of you who have been reading and witnessing my own unfolding as well as your own may have found yourself in a situation when healing became part of your identity. You have your own story of how you started your healing journey, and I would love to hear it in the comment section. You have your own story of what you have faced: fears, limiting beliefs, trauma, ancestral or even past life.

We collectively can acknowledge that choosing the healing path is not for the weak and requires a lot from you. This could be explored more in another piece in the future.

My own healing journey started because of my conscious curiosity for development. Prior to my mid 20s and the beginning of my healing journey, as I like to reference it, I wrote my bachelor thesis about lifelong learning throughout a person’s life. This was the topic I was fascinated by and chose to explore deeper.

As I reflect back from time to time, what I have realised is that I was always curious. In some periods of my life, I felt that curiosity left my world completely. What I know now is that some things are buried deeper than others because of the experiences we live through in our lives.

I started my healing journey without strict rules because having freedom and feeling it was always part of my values, even if it took me almost all of my life to acknowledge it and consciously live by it. I let my curiosity, my true nature of who I am, explore the journey without truly knowing what I had gotten myself into.

The unknown of what I would explore on my path was not as scary as facing my traumas growing up, facing the behaviour patterns I unconsciously made my own, learning how to know what I was feeling, expressing it and talking about it. I learned a lot, and sometimes the self recognition is slow to acknowledge it, like a slow internet connection when you are trying to load a new webpage.

My curiosity also took me to the things that I was raised to believe were evil: Tarot, Witchcraft, Divination, Energy Healing, Crystals, Astrology and much more.

What I came to realise, and only got reminded of recently, is that since I was a child I was curious about these things. The signs I showed to my religious parents ended up being trapped in Pandora’s box, something that I should never explore, get curious about, or learn more about.

Those magazines called “W.I.T.C.H.” were the very first things I started reading secretly in shops while my parents were grocery shopping, or later in the public library with my childhood friend. All of it was a beginning I am able to remember now.

And now I feel like I am writing two pieces in one because one without the other won’t be my own full truth.

I have started to see my life positively change since I started my healing journey. Back then, what I was doing daily, weekly and monthly did not feel like a lot, but today, having the ability to clearly see my efforts, I have realised I haven’t given myself much credit for it.

I wanted others to experience this in their life too. I wanted others, especially those who I surrounded myself with, to be on this path with me, the path to healing. Underneath it all was my desire to improve their life because unconsciously I felt like it was my responsibility because I knew better.

What happened next was force coming from me with what I thought at the time were pure intentions towards those people I interacted with. What I later came to realise is that not everyone needs to be on a healing journey. It is not something that can be forced by others because it is a journey a person chooses for themselves.

Another thing I almost forgot to share is that since I started my healing journey, in a way I closed myself off from the world.

The peak of my healing journey began when I felt called to start a coaching programme because since I was little I knew I was meant to be a leader. When I learned about my life path number and explored numerology more deeply, it helped me understand myself more, but it also made me feel like I needed to carry the whole world on my shoulders.

I happen to be a Life Path 33, one of the master numbers in numerology. Even though I was trying my best not to teach, I went ahead with the coaching programme and learned a ton of new tools, increasing the level of healing I was experiencing and doing.

This is when healing became my identity. It wasn’t out of force from outside sources. It suddenly happened because of my own internal world.

I thought I had to be fully healed in order to live a life I came here to live. So what naturally followed was what I now realise was an excessive amount of healing in such a short period of time.

I thought I could be done with healing all of the things that needed healing in my inner world in just 9 months. LOL.

When I came to realise that, it felt like an atomic bomb had gone off. What I uncovered underneath was a deeper layer of the wound. It felt like defeat. It felt like all of this effort, time, money, energy and more put into this healing journey only to realise I wasn’t done with the wound I originally thought I had healed.

What I heard in one of my sessions with my dear coach, mentor and teacher was that the healing journey of your whole life isn’t meant to be completed in a year, or in my experience, in 9 months.

This truth, this level of awareness, I wasn’t ready to hold. At least not yet. At least not at that time.

It sat with me and slowly brought peace. It brought permission I needed to give myself, to take things slowly, one by one. The contradiction between this and the fast paced life we live in was difficult to hold at the same time.

I felt shame, anger and disappointment in myself. I knew better, so how could I let this happen?

Now I feel a deeper sense of freedom as I have freed myself from this identity. Know that any identity you have created knowingly or unknowingly can be changed, can be replaced, can go through death and rebirth.

We are cyclical beings and for some of you it is time to explore these questions deeper:

Who am I without the trauma, the pain and the suffering I have experienced in my life?

Who am I?

This is where the new life, for me and you, begins.

With fire and love,
Paulina

P.S. I finally gave myself permission to live before being fully healed.

We “naturally” lean into becoming the good girl or boy, or the bad girl or boy, either accepting the expectations of others or rebelling and going the other way, which often leads to more visible consequences than if you had chosen to be the good girl or boy.

And then there are those in between too, because life has more colours than just white, blue, or grey.

Since I was little, the youngest child in a family of seven, including both of my parents, I wanted to be the easier child. Because of my good heart or nature, I fully leaned into being the good girl, the one who stays quiet, the one who is always ready to help somebody, without truly understanding the importance of taking care of myself, something I had to learn the hard way in life.

I felt the expectation from everyone around me. I now understand that the environment I grew up in and the way my parents raised me religiously had a huge influence on me, one that still comes through to this day, just in much lighter shades than before.

The need to fulfil other people’s expectations felt extremely important to me, even though I did not fully understand why.

Well, to be honest, I was afraid.

I was afraid to see what was there. I was afraid to see the truth because I thought I needed to protect myself from it. I was so comfortable and adjusted to the lie that I had to become who others expected me to be.

The clarity started to rise to the surface when I began my healing journey, when I found the courage to let my curiosity and intuition lead the way.

And I am glad I did.

I am glad I did not stop, especially in those heavy moments where it felt like wave after wave was pulling me deeper and deeper towards the bottom of the ocean.

Each hit felt personal. Each hit felt heavier than the last one.

But I always found a way to move forward, to keep going, even if my pace was more turtle than tiger, despite believing for so long that I had to live at tiger speed.

When I started Substack last autumn, I made myself a promise to only write what feels true to me, what is present for me at the time of writing, and never, and I mean never, pressure myself into writing from force or because I thought others expected me to.

If you go through my written pieces, you will see those breaks, those quiet moments. You will see that the promise has not been broken. I stayed true to myself by expressing from my truth instead of pressure.

This did not come easily for me.

There has been a lot of work done behind the scenes and in front of the audience as well, through my Substack and through my content across YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram.

I am choosing to celebrate this because, in my life and business, celebration is part of daily life.

I’ll leave you with this to ponder:

What expectations are you trying to fulfil right now?

With love and fire,
Paulina

This is a better question, because so many of us, including me, have felt the pressure, the need to reach specific milestones at specific ages.

When it comes to my own experience, the first time I heard about the 30 under 30 list was in my late twenties. At that time, I could not imagine someone the same age as me, or even younger, doing these amazing things at such a young age.

At times, it gave me the boost I thought I needed to keep going, to keep bettering myself, to work on my mindset, and I did. I started to prioritise my healing journey and take a look at what was truly happening in my inner world. That was a journey in itself, one that so many of us avoid.

I am not here to shame anyone. It is not a necessary experience in my world anymore. The truth will break the illusions that social norms throughout centuries have created.

At other times, especially when I hadn’t realised how much of my identity had been shaped by the environments I was living in, it made me feel very bad. At times I did not even have words to describe what I was feeling. It was not something I had learned growing up.

I understand that so many of us are raised in different economic environments, and that has a strong influence on the identity we create. That is why there are class systems throughout the world in different forms. There is a big distance between human beings, and I am going to leave that there.

In the essence of creating such lists, it can be seen as admirable. It can be seen as recognition, visibility, and proof that people have made wonderful things.

But what I can also see underneath is another tool to divide us, another opportunity to create chaos. Not chaos in the macro, but chaos in the micro, in our internal world.

Because it feeds the stories many of us heard growing up: you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough.

If you haven’t taken a deeper look at the root of these stories, they can shape a life that goes against your soul’s desires and the experience it came here to live through.

My only question to you is this: how much longer will you let the outside pressure, the macro, influence you, your life, and the way your soul wants to live it?

It’s time you break free and take your power back.

With fire and love,
Paulina

In those heavy and difficult times, you suddenly switch to the “old ways” of being. The way you were before the traumatic or very challenging situation that altered your reality for some time.

This can be seen in the way you suddenly use the “bad word” you put a lot of effort into removing, or in the habits you practiced daily that end up becoming once a week or even less frequent.

It’s like you slowly started to become the very person you said you wouldn’t become, because you made a promise to yourself to bounce back from it, whatever your “it” is.

You were proud and occasionally talked about how “easily and effortlessly” you bounced back to who you were.

But here’s the thing you haven’t fully recognized yet.

You haven’t truly bounced back.

Why?

Because you will never bounce back to who you were fully. You can’t escape the event that happened, the one that put you in a constant state of wanting or needing to bounce back.

I am not a mother yet, but bouncing back is extremely visible when women who give birth feel like they must bounce back to the very body they had before they got pregnant, often because society praises how quickly a woman can return to who she was.

Some of them make this happen, but it doesn’t need to become a norm, a way to measure a woman’s ability to switch so fast to someone she is not.

All I wish for those who are about to become mothers is for this life-altering change to happen without you needing to bounce back.

This is an opportunity to create what life feels like after you become a mother.

You do not need to feel guilty.

All you need to do is fully embody your new life.

You brought life into this world.

Why do you want to bounce back to who you were?

With love and fire,
Paulina

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